Desiree
Kane
6 Oct 09, 7:32 am
Filed:Entertainment, Fashion, Opinion

Uptown Charlotte men’s hairstyles hit all-time low

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photo credit: James Willamor, of course!

Uptown Charlotte is known for a few things: banking, nightlife and pretty people. Charlotte women are chic, fashionable and contemporary. It’s not uncommon to see a flirty, couture style party dress on a fabulous woman after hours Uptown, then shortly after that notice her rather bleakly dressed male cohort. Her shoes, nails, accessories and hair will all be on point. His on the other hand, will all be manicured down to just the basics. What’s the deal men of Uptown? More specifically, what’s up with your hair?

There are basically three haircuts seen on Uptown Charlotte men.

The below images have been altered to protect the… guilty.

1. “The Bro”

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This haircut is worn by bros who are recently out of college, would rather still be in college if they had the option to, or want to fight The Man by wearing a long hairstyle in a conservative banking workplace like their bros from their frat do. This style varies in length from the long example seen above to ending just above the ears. All lengths are shaggy and soft. This look can be seen after-hours at places like The Attic or chugging Bud Light alongside “The Brotha Fred” at Bar Charlotte.

2. “The Politician”

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This is by far the most popular men’s Uptown hairstyle. This hairstyle varies from a super-gelled side part to a Julius Caesar-esque style soft cut with loose curls that form a neat hair helmet on the afflicted. This style has been known to grow into “The Bro” if unmaintained long enough. Its natural habitat is at home in front of the Xbox or, if coaxed out after dark, at places like the lounge upstairs at Chima or playing pool holding a scotch on the rocks at Madison’s.

3. “The Brotha Fred”

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This is a very popular style with the Epicenter set. It can be seen on early 20’s boy toys cruising for cougars at the bar at Villa Antonio’s to 30-something men wearing a bedazzled shirt with a giant cross on it who are desperately still trying to keep up with the boy toys at Suite. This style can sometimes be good looking on the right guy, but it looks generally douche-y on the bulk of the population when it’s seen in daylight on a guy sporting the unofficial Uptown Charlotte men’s uniform: khakis and a blue striped shirt.

It’s difficult to ascertain who is at fault for the mass proliferation of the above three hairstyles amongst Charlotte men in the last few years. It’s a causality dilemma much like the chicken v. the egg. Are Charlotte men repeatedly asking for these styles and forcing their hair stylists into submission, or are Charlotte hairdressers guilty of suggesting these styles over and over again because they’re so skilled in these three cuts that it’s easier to do another one and continue on with their day? We may never know.

36 Responses

  1. Olga Bowman
    6 Oct 09 at 8:41 am

    TELL IT SISTER!

    Reply
  2. Steven
    6 Oct 09 at 9:07 am

    What hairstyles should we, as men, be wearing to meet your approval?

    Reply
  3. Desiree Kane
    6 Oct 09 at 9:25 am

    @Steven – It’s not about MY approval at all, it’s about finding something that is your own/unique/fun/different/YOU. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade and to me it seems like guys Uptown all look the same. It’s kind of frustrating for my single lady-friends because Charlotte has a good looking male population that just seems to be stuck in the rut of these three hairstyles. :)

    Reply
    • ChrystalS
      7 Oct 09 at 11:01 pm

      You tell it girl. You are 100% correct. I have noticed since I came to Charlotte that most men have the same hair. They all think they would look Cool if they had that hair style but they didn’t realize that that hair style is a average joe cut and is very blan in varitiy. I agree with you. Men hair styles need to be updated. (P.S. see you tomorrow)

      Reply
  4. QueenCityMeg
    6 Oct 09 at 9:42 am

    Preachin to the choir! Take a look at my blog, entry named “Pleated Pants”. The fashion police (Clinton and Stacey) would have a ball here…fashion faux pas epidemic.

    Reply
  5. Erik
    6 Oct 09 at 9:52 am

    You only looked at white people hairstyles. Isn’t that a bit narrow-minded? Last time I checked black people have hair too and it’s not really in any of those styles.

    Reply
    • Desiree Kane
      6 Oct 09 at 9:59 am

      @Erik – I love the style, individuality and thought put into the hairstyles they sport which is why I did not include that demographic in this post. Cookie cutter = not a good thing. Additionally, “The Brotha Fred” and “The Politician” are both styles worn across all male demographics Uptown that I’m aware of, it just only looks super douche-y on white guys because there are ~9billion with the same cut.

      Reply
  6. Austin Light
    6 Oct 09 at 10:10 am

    I guess I’m guilty of the last one. I’ve been doing the messy hair, bed head thing for a few years. I like to keep my hair short, but without product in it (yes I called it product…my wife has taught me well) it looks like a fluffly white-guy fro. Nothing says slacker like the fluffy white-guy fro.

    Reply
  7. Justin
    6 Oct 09 at 11:47 am

    What classification does a shaved head fall into?

    Reply
  8. Megan
    6 Oct 09 at 1:40 pm

    This article is hilarious! The revolution is beginning :) Change is coming and is even extending to men’s haircuts! Love it!

    Reply
  9. Desiree’s BroFro hair clip on Fox News Edge | CLT Blog
    9 Oct 09 at 8:22 pm

    [...] fauxcharlotteHa! But @brofroiwannakno’s haircut is the best! http://cltblog.com/4637 (@Dbirdy … « Charlotte Oktoberfest Beer Festival 2009 JustinRuckman 9 Oct 09, 8:19 pm Filed:City, Fashion, Media [...]

    Reply
  10. Eman
    1 Nov 09 at 2:14 pm

    Is the author if this article actually ENCOURAGING the effeminizing metrosexualization of modern American males?

    Pathetic.

    Reply
  11. Charlotte Volkswagen
    2 Nov 09 at 5:23 pm

    Haha… what’s interesting is how true this is!

    Reply

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